a close friend had one and a half bottle of whiskey yesterday.
and some sleeping pills.
i'm writing this down cause i feel i must at least .. react somehow.
rather than lock my feelings towards this all up. and get all weepy, whiningly in a few weeks.
i hope i can dance around it by faking to think about it when writing down some lines about how i was not surprised. again. how angry i was. how disappointed. how much i understood what he felt, i know how this feels like. the spiral.
i know how helpless it is to get told that everything will be alright if you'd give it just a little more time and that you could call late at night when you know that you'll not have the strength to grab the phone and push two simple buttons to reach out for someone
so what can i tell him when i know every word i say is hollow, cause if he wants - he'll leave.
and i don't want to lie awake every single night, afraid i won't get an answer to my message in the morning.
so. here it is.
that's it.
world. have you read it?
have you recognised?
took notice?
cause that's it. that's exactly everything there is that i will think about it.
i dealt with it.
that's it.
nothing more to say.
or think about.
let's go 'n' tell him to get the hell out of all this fucking hopeless shit.
cause life is beautiful.
and i need some sleep.
and so does he.